New Political Equations

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The outcome of Assembly Elections in the five states were almost on expected lines, but for the victory margin.  Everybody expected a victory for Jayalalitha, but none did foresee a landslide victory of this kind which washed away every trace of the ruling party. 

The disgusted voters gave a clear mandate ‘Against the Dynasty’ for an ‘unparalleled misrule’.   DMK government did ensure that all freebies promised in the previous manifesto reached the people.   Everybody got their TV sets……….and possibly that was a grave mistake that the party did.  They never guessed that stories after stories of their misdeeds would be flashed to the comman people throught the very same TV sets. 

The Dravidian parties are very similar on many counts and this was amply reflected in their election manifestoes too.  Same Laptops, grinders and free gold, though Jayalalitha was a little ‘more generous’.

In short, AIADMK = DMK + 1 Fan. 

People are no less either, they did not want to give away the free fan they would get as ‘extra’ and they voted for AIADMK. 

The fan blew away the ruling party, but it installed another which is no better. 

Tracing the track records of both the Dravidian parties would eventually take us to the same path…… a path so filthy…so foul. 

What other option for the hapless voter?  Bring in Congress party back to power?  God… that would be suicidal.

Voters of the state were however more prudent than thier counter-parts in the neighbouring state of Kerala where they voted Congress back to power.   

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Congress Party under Sonia would put a chameleon to shame.   Suddenly she felt the need for what she describes as a ‘courtesy call’ to congratulate Amma.  The congress party has already pulled their hands away from the shoulders of DMK and are extending it towards AIADMK.  Such an equation would ensure them of the required number of parliament seats in the ensuing Lok Sabha election and also wash off its involvement in the 2G scam.  It is ‘Heads I Win….Tails You Lose’ situation for congress.

Quiz Time

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QUIZ TIME

 

Politics

 

  1. 1.       Some are deaf, some are dumb and some are blind.  But who is deaf, dumb & blind??

Ans. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh

  1. 2.       Why Kalmadi prefers to be in Jail?

Ans. Safety of course.  The jail was fortunately not build by him.

  1. 3.       Why did Rahul Gandhi travel on a ‘Two-Wheeler’ to Noida?

Ans. Because petrol burns our fingers too..

  1. 4.       What ‘leans’ more than the Tower of Pisa?

Ans. Honesty of our Prime Minister

  1. 5.       Americans called it Geronimo.  What would India call it if India were to execute Dawood?

Ans. Bull Shit.  We are a secular nation… we do not kill minorities.

 

 

Osama Special

 

  1. 1.       The best tongue twister of the year 2011??

Ans. Obama kills Osama

  1. 2.       How did Obama come out of the Birth Certificate controversy?

Ans. Osama helped him with a Death Certificate

  1. 3.       Osama was thrown to the sea.  Consequence?

Ans. The prophecy that ‘Third World War will be over Water’ would come true.

  1. 4.       What’s Osama doing right now?

Ans. Digging an ‘underwater-tunnel’ to Pentagon

 

 

Osama in my net!

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Osama in my net!.

Numbers Speak

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70,00,000,00,00,000!!!


Does this number ring any bells in you?

Possibly the number of stars in the universe??  Stupid… that’s wrong.

Possibly the distance  between earth and the farthest star measured in light years?  Yet again.  A big wrong.

NO…NO…NO…….No space scientist has ever ever come up with such an astronomical figure…

 

The number looks astronomical, but does it have anything to do with the stars? NO

Nothing to do with stars??  Grossly incorrect.

This number is all about stars.

Star UPA Leaders, Star Business Magnets, Star Cricketers and  of  course our own Superstars from the  movie industry all have a share in this number.

This is roughly the amount of UNACCOUNTED  WEALTH deposited by Indians in Swiss Banks.

Why the hell do they go all the way to Switzerland??   Because our State Bank of India do not possess lockers big enough to accommodate the hard earned money of our Stars.

Hard earned  or Hardly earned, that is a different matter altogether, what matters is that they have EARNED.

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Spurt of Terrorist activities around the globe has made Switzerland government think twice on the sanity of maintaining undisclosed bank accounts.  Terrorist organisations too pile up illegal funds in these banks and use the same to fund the terrorist operations elsewhere.

The Swiss Government has changed its attitude on tax havens and is now ready to give assistance to any country wishing to get details of their citizen’s treasure collection.  In this regard, the Swiss Government made a formal intimation to Indian Government that they are ready to disclose all details about the illegal money that Indians have deposited in their banks.

The offer by Swiss Government came as a bolt from the blue for the UPA government.

No response from Indian side prompted the Swiss government to send a reminder to the Finance Ministry.

UPA government’s reply???   How foolish of your government to expect the right hand to handcuff the left??  So Stupid.

The Shoe’s Plight

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News Headlines:  “Protestor hurls shoe at Hurriyat Chief Syed Ali Shah Geelani”

Unsurprisingly, Geelani had no complains.

HOWEVER, the SHOE had.

Hard luck.  Imagine the plight of the shoe… to fall on a dais packed with nauseating elements like Geelani & Suzzane Roy!!  Che…stepping down a sewerage hole was far better.

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Though the intention of the shoe hurler was noble, he should have been more prudent in choosing his ways.  Not only did he lose his shoes, but also did gross injustice   to his beloved shoes.    Did he not know the basic fact that the persons occupying the stage were the ones with the thickest skins anywhere around.  This shoe made of ordinary buffalo leather would have felt a sort of inferiority complex too to be around in company of such thick leathered ones.  Poor shoe once again.

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Lawyer Jokes

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Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A:  Bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

 

Q. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?

A. The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.

 

Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A. His lips are moving.

 

Q. How does an attorney sleep?

A. First he lies on one side, and then on the other.

 

Q. How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?

A. Say “Fees!”

 

Q. What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A. “Your honor.”

 

Q. Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?

A. Because deep down, they are really good guys.

 

Q. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

A. Professional courtesy.

 

Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

A. Shortage of sand.

 

Q. Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

A. Take your foot off his head.

 

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?

A. In the cemetary.

 

Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A. Boxing referee doesn’t get paid extra for a longer fight.

 

Did you hear about the group of terrorists that hijacked a plane full of lawyers?  They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren’t met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

 

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer walking down the street with his hands in his own pockets.

 

The trouble with the legal profession is that 98% of its members give the rest a bad name.

 

There are two kinds of lawyers — those who know the law and those who know the judge.

 

 

Priorities Redefined

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Trust Redefined –  Banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Emergency Redefined- Pizza Van arrives at our doorstep much faster than the ambulance.